Well here she is, speaking in the third person, re-launching
her blog again... What’s different this time you ask? Dedication, motivation,
pride, and happiness. This makes me happy. I’ve never been good at speaking
about how I feel or what I want to do so to write it all down is perfect for
me. I hope you enjoy reading and
exploring it as much as I love writing it.
(sunset in liverpool, little sisters prom & huns day out in manchester)
2018 was a difficult one for me. Materialistically it should have been the best year. I got a promotion I’d longer for at work. I made friends that I now couldn’t live without. I reconnected with old friends. I brought a new car. I went on an amazing summer holiday. I travelled all over the UK. Met new amazing people. Laughed until I nearly wet myself. Became close with people I never imagined I would. I really broke down barriers that were hard for me to speak about many years ago. Made new memories and tried new things. However mentally it was the hardest year of my life. I literally hit rock bottom. But looking at my social media and speaking to my closest friends and family, you’d never have guessed it because of how I chose to portray myself as I was scared of the vulnerability. This scares me that someone could be at their lowest point however you’d never know. Always be kind to people. Everyone has a story you know nothing about.
(family holiday to cyprus 2018)
In 2018 I lost 2 people who I never imagined loosing. I lost
my great nanny to dementia. And lost my first puppy Oscar who as weird as it
sounds, you think will live forever. I’ve never known how to deal with grief or
loss as its something I’ve never really had to deal with. I have in other ways
dealt with loosing things, whether its friends or objects however when someone
is taken away from you, that you know you wont see or speak to again, it hurts.
And I cried like you don’t know what. That much that I think I could have cried
myself a river. ‘Don’t get wrapped up in
‘life’ and being in the IT crowd’. Make time for those who matter the most.
I wish I could speak to them one last time just to make sure they know how much
I loved and valued their presence in my life. Family is so special. Treasure
them until your dying day, tell them everyday how much you love them.
(became godmother to a beautiful baby girl, attended the christening & finally brought my own car)
