What I learned in 2018

Well here she is, speaking in the third person, re-launching her blog again... What’s different this time you ask? Dedication, motivation, pride, and happiness. This makes me happy. I’ve never been good at speaking about how I feel or what I want to do so to write it all down is perfect for me.  I hope you enjoy reading and exploring it as much as I love writing it.

(sunset in liverpool, little sisters prom & huns day out in manchester)

2018 was a difficult one for me. Materialistically it should have been the best year. I got a promotion I’d longer for at work. I made friends that I now couldn’t live without. I reconnected with old friends. I brought a new car. I went on an amazing summer holiday. I travelled all over the UK. Met new amazing people. Laughed until I nearly wet myself. Became close with people I never imagined I would. I really broke down barriers that were hard for me to speak about many years ago. Made new memories and tried new things. However mentally it was the hardest year of my life. I literally hit rock bottom. But looking at my social media and speaking to my closest friends and family, you’d never have guessed it because of how I chose to portray myself as I was scared of the vulnerability. This scares me that someone could be at their lowest point however you’d never know. Always be kind to people. Everyone has a story you know nothing about.

(family holiday to cyprus 2018)

In 2018 I lost 2 people who I never imagined loosing. I lost my great nanny to dementia. And lost my first puppy Oscar who as weird as it sounds, you think will live forever. I’ve never known how to deal with grief or loss as its something I’ve never really had to deal with. I have in other ways dealt with loosing things, whether its friends or objects however when someone is taken away from you, that you know you wont see or speak to again, it hurts. And I cried like you don’t know what. That much that I think I could have cried myself a river. ‘Don’t get wrapped up in ‘life’ and being in the IT crowd’. Make time for those who matter the most. I wish I could speak to them one last time just to make sure they know how much I loved and valued their presence in my life. Family is so special. Treasure them until your dying day, tell them everyday how much you love them.

(became godmother to a beautiful baby girl, attended the christening & finally brought my own car)

I’m currently 20 years old and am currently living amongst a society where you’re constantly being pushed to prepare for mortgages, lifetime careers and even pensions. Meanwhile I struggle to decide which shoes to wear to work in the morning. Anyway the point is, the amount of pressure I feel to have my life put together is a bit ridiculous if I’m being brutally honest. I feel it for others too. Guys and gals, whatever your doing now is ok, wherever you’re at is ok, however old you are and the decisions you make, you have time. You do you. After all, perfection takes time. 2018 taught me that I’m still young, I don’t need to be in a career I plan on being in forever. I know people who have completely changed career paths and that’s ok! We change and evolve everyday. Our brains adapt and seeing and experiencing different things can change our outlook on life. Don’t think you need to have it all mapped out because you really don’t.

We’re quite fortunate that right now, mental health is spoken about a lot more than it ever was when I was growing up. Its now taken more seriously than I could have ever hoped. I can’t wait for the day when a mental injury and a mental illness is classed and is treated the same as physically injuring yourself. Men and women, girls and boys. Its common but can be helped by speaking to people!!! There are so many people out there to listen and help you. I’ve been through things and I wish I knew it was okay to talk about them and that I wouldn’t be scrutinized. It is more common now than anything but there’s also so many people to help. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Please don’t suffer in silence. 2018 taught me people really do care and want to help you. I'm still healing and will be for a long time but I have hope that the trauma will turn into new vibrations and a new positive path for me. 

(christmas day 2018)

I’ve never really entered a new year with the actual mind set of ‘new year new me’ but there’s something different about 2019. I have ambition, motivation, and want to do something I love doing. I think it’s my 20’s without sounding too Cliché. I’m not a baby anymore. I want to make something out of myself. I want to move out, start a new business, learn a new talent, explore places I’ve never been, and in the famous words of my best friend start ‘living my best life’.

2019 is OUR year. You got this. You have. You’re strong. You have people around you who love you and want to see you succeed. You have people who are proud of you no mater what your grades are, no matter what level you are at work, or how much money you have in the bank. The world sometimes focuses too much on the negativity rather than the purpose of us all being here. What I learnt in 2018 is to take each moment as it comes. Life is short. Don’t let your age pressure you into thinking you need to have everything together. Have faith in friendships. You are more than worth it. Believe in yourself. You only have yourself to fall back on. Hard work pays off. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Be who you needed when you were younger. Do more of what you love. Self care is important. Don’t be fooled by how someone chooses to portray themselves online.  Don’t go looking for love. It will come. God has a plan for you. You need to speak to people in order to be helped.

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me. Hopefully we can do this more often. Im going to post about anything and everything. It may be scheduled, it may be all over the place. Describes me perfectly. But again thank you for reading.

Remember,  you’ve got this. X

All my love 
Megz